Page 21 - BOL Jul 22 Edition

CONVERSATIONS WITH
Leonie
Leonie

Hi, You are not alone. I see this issue more and more in relationship
Hello Leonie,
counselling. I feel that it is important to understand that thoughts,
I have a very upsetting problem that I don’t think resentment, and jealousy can all be conscious or subconscious.
is fair. This has been going on since Covid hit. My Your husband may or may not be feeling some or all the above.
employer paid for me and the rest of the team to set However, even if these feelings are subconscious the fall out can be
up a home office with everything we need. Anyway, it real and the impact can really damage a relationship. The common
turned out that we were all more productive working phrases I hear in the counselling room are:
from our homes, so my employer has now made this “You don’t even have to get out of your pyjamas”
permanent and has let the office space in Brisbane “You get to sleep in everyday”
go to save money on rent. I have been working from “You’re not catching a train when its cold and still dark outside”
home ever since. So, you would think it is great news “Unlike me, you can take a break any time you like”
for me, great news for the kids and our little old dog Often just a firm reality check can help. I would ask your husband
who can sit with me all day. Also, there is no parking some questions such as “Aren’t you happy with all the money we
and petrol to pay for, not to mention the reduced are saving?” “Aren’t you glad that I don’t have to be on the road
stress. And it has been wonderful. However, even every day?” As with most issues, communication is key and this
though I am still working up to nine hours a day, needs to be sorted sooner rather than later. It may be reasonable
because I am home my husband thinks I am on easy for you to do a little more domestic work than your husband, but
street with tons of time to do everything that we not everything. My suggestion would be that as he won’t listen to
would normally share. For example, I used to cook, you when you bring this up, show him this column and if this fails,
and he would clean up, I would get the washing on consider relationship counselling so that both of you can have a
before I went to work, and he would hang it out when safe place to get nonbiased help.
he got up and so on. We used to do the shopping
together and it would get done quickly leaving time Til next month Leonie
to get on with the day. Although, I feel that I still did
the lions share of the work, we were tag teaming well
for years. But now, he has checked out big time. He Email: leonieschilling@bigpond.com
says things like “You’re at home all day, you do it”. Leonie is a qualified private
It doesn’t matter what it is either, it all falls on my practitioner at North Lakes
shoulders because he just feels that I don’t work Counselling Services.
anymore. I had a packed day of Zoom meetings
yesterday as well as my usual work commitments, For appointments please
phone 3886 2715 or 0423 653 841
but he said that I should “just duck out” to get ALL the www.northlakescounsellingservices.com.au
stuff we need for our daughter’s 18th. I love working
from home but now I feel like a single mother and as ABOUT LEONIE
though I have lost my support partner. I really feel Leonie is a qualified counsellor, Trainer and Assessor, published
that this is affecting our marriage and I don’t feel he Author, Columnist, Radio Commentator and Justice of the Peace.
respects the work I do or the contribution I make. He Established in 2007, North Lakes Counselling Services has a
can’t see it and just “Pooh Poohs” me when I try to long history of helping couples and individuals manage their
talk about it. How can something so good be turned relationships and attain their personal goals.
into something so negative? Any insight on how I can
manage this please? CATCH LEONIE’S RADIO SHOW “ON THE

Anonymous / Freshwater North Lakes COUCH WITH LEONIE” EVERY THIRD TUESDAY
OF THE MONTH AT 11AM ON 99.7 BRIDGE FM

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