Page 22 - Best Of Local Mag April 2023 Edition

CONVERSATIONS WITH
Leonie
Leonie

Hi Leonie,
Here is my story. I have done the walk and talk thing, the men’s group thing and have seen a psychologist with no real help. My wife won’t
go to counselling, and nobody seems to be able to give me skills to get this child thing sorted. We are in our early 40’s and have been
married for 14 years. Initially we both wanted children, but this want has taken over our whole lives. I’m sure you know how expensive IVF
is and if we go again, it will be our 5th round. I am in debt up to my eyeballs and I just want to move on, accept that kids are not in the cards
for us and enjoy our lives, but my wife wants to go again and will not see reason. It’s at the point now where I don’t really think we could
afford a child anymore and we are getting older. The debt is crushing me. The other huge issue is that my wife is like a bear with a sore head
when she is in treatment and our relationship is not close at all. In fact, I find that I am avoiding her because it’s all kinds of negative, all of
the time. I have been offered a FIFO job with 3 weeks on and one week off. My wife wants me to take it for the increase in money and I want
to take it for the peace. I just want us to go back to how we were before the desperate fight for a family, but I feel that my wife just wants a
child regardless of if I’m there or not. What would you say?
Name withheld by request.

Hello,

I can’t comment on the methods of another counsellor/s because I have not been privy to the information gathering process or
your disclosures. From what you have told me, its sounds as though there was some personal counselling for you with your wife
not engaging. Have you seen a fertility counsellor? Perhaps your wife would consider this type of therapy where you both will be
assessed on your current situation, feelings, and emotional states and even the viability of your marriage.

I have been told by a client that just one round of IVF treatment can cost over $8,000 so if you have no savings and are borrowing to
go through multiple cycles of IVF you could really affect your financial stability.

Counsellors never tell a person what to do but we can Email: leonieschilling@bigpond.com
encourage you to reflect and consider being honest and
transparent about your feelings and make a choice that is Leonie is a qualified private
practitioner at North Lakes
best for everyone. Everyone has the right to say no to a life Counselling Services.
changing decision and the right to not engage in IVF. I would For appointments please phone
strongly encourage you to get personal counselling to try to 3886 2715 or 0423 653 841
work through your feelings and consider where your heart www.northlakescounsellingservices.com.au
and head is. Do you still want the things that you wanted
all those years ago? You don’t have to apologise to anyone
for what you feel, or you don’t feel. We do not choose our ABOUT LEONIE
feelings. People change and that’s a fact of life. No one can Leonie is a qualified counsellor, Trainer and Assessor, published
make this decision for you, and I wish you all the courage you Author, Columnist, Radio Commentator and Justice of the Peace.
Established in 2007, North Lakes Counselling Services has a
need to manage this very challenging time in your life. long history of helping couples and individuals manage their
relationships and attain their personal goals.
Til next month CATCH LEONIE’S RADIO SHOW “ON THE
Leonie COUCH WITH LEONIE” EVERY THIRD TUESDAY

OF THE MONTH AT 11AM ON 99.7 BRIDGE FM