Page 23 - BOL Jul20 Edition

Dear Alice
Dear Alice

trouble?
How can I w can I help those inhelp those in trouble?

Ho

Dear Alice
I’m a teacher in the local area and with the changing landscape of virtual schooling, learning how to use Zoom
and trying to maintain order within lessons I have noticed that I have become hyper-critical of myself. Whenever
I make a mistake, regardless of the size, I spiral into a pattern of self-flagellation. It has become so persistent that
I am constantly criticising myself, calling myself horrible names and telling myself that I don’t deserve happiness
or success because I am such a what’s-it-called. My mind does not feel like a safe place anymore. I am so frustrated
and at a loss at what to do. Any tips or information would be greatly appreciated.
Cheers, Brett.
Hey Brett,
Thank you so much for reaching out. Life has been hard for us all lately and there is no shame in admitting it. When we are
stressed or anxious, our brain tends to revert back towards old neurological pathways that have been entrenched deeply
from early childhood. This is not because they are true or valid, but because it can be the path of least resistance. Picture the
Queensland Rail network, the Caboolture line has been going for years and years. The Redcliffe Peninsula line is a more recent
addition on top of the pre-existing network. Unless the railroad switch is flicked at Petrie, the train is going to Caboolture. Whilst
we could easily spend forever analysing where your pattern of self-criticism comes from, understanding it will only get you so
far. I would assume that, as a teacher, you are naturally a caring and compassionate person. It sounds to me like you are working
really hard to create a dynamic learning environment that encircles your students and the broader school community. The key
component that you are missing here is that you have created a beautiful circle of people that are learning and growing; and
you have left yourself outside of that circle. Not only are you on the outside, you are outside in a snow storm whilst everyone
else in your life is inside by the fire. It is time to include yourself in the circle of compassion. Dr Kristin Neff has developed a step
by step audiobook that can teach you how to become self-compassionate. The three main strategies are all mental exercises
that you can do anywhere. Ask yourself, ‘what would a caring friend say to me in this situation?’. Practice self-kindness, then limit
self-judgements. Ask yourself, ‘how will I learn if it is not okay to make mistakes?’. Tell yourself, ‘this is the human condition – all
humans are flawed’ tune into the comradery of one common humanity. The road to success is paved by many failures, what
defines us is not how many times we fall, but how well we rise.

If you’ve got a question for Alice that you’d like
published, email it to -moretonbay@bestoflocal.com.au

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