Page 22 - Best Of Local Mag May 2023 Edition
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CONVERSATIONS WITH
Leonie
Leonie
Hi Leonie, Lots and lots of lovely handmade items in store!
I am having trouble with my husband and I don’t want to talk to family about it. We are all part of a family business and we work to a
budget so if I came to see a counsellor everyone would know or be asking why I needed the extra money. Okay here it goes. We have been
married for almost nine months and together for 3 years. Last weekend, my husband caught me checking my ex-partners Facebook and
Insta and now says he doesn’t think I’m over him and that we shouldn’t have got married and also says that I kept secrets. This has blown Unique Gifts
us up and I can’t understand why he has reacted this way to something so petty. I was just bored and wondered if the ex was still at the
same job and yes, I did wonder what his status was and if he was engaged or married or whatever. I was really looking to see if he had
someone and if she was wearing the ring I gave back when we broke up. It doesn’t matter I was just bored. Why has such a petty thing put Clothing
my marriage in jeopardy? What can I do and how to do I rescue things.
Name withheld by request/Moreton Downs Fabrics
Hello,
Well, there is an infidelity type called “Micro Cheating” and this is an issue that has been the demise of many a union. Jewellery
Some of the behaviours that go along with Micro Cheating may include.
• Secretly messaging someone else or having intimate/emotional talks with others
• Getting a dopamine hit regularly by having secret messages for you. Custom Made Clothing
• Getting validation through obsessing about a third party with imagined affairs (limerence)
• Boosting your ego by being able to attract others. Alterations
• You check out your ex’s face book page or other social media accounts to see if they are dating someone new or still in the area.
• Deleting browsing history
• Having a pass word on your phone or any other device (what have you got to hide?) Made To Measure
• Having a little savings account on the side as escape funds.
And yes, micro cheating is cheating. I would ask you to seriously consider why your ex is on your mind. Is it just the ring? Why do Embroidery
you care what job this ex is in? Your husband has valid concerns and most people would feel distrustful of this ex stalking behaviour.
I believe that everyone should have some privacy such as
private thoughts and interactions with family and counsellors Email: leonieschilling@bigpond.com
but if you are doing something that you know your partner
would not be okay with, you really need to consider if you Leonie is a qualified private Unit 12, 9-11 Redcliffe Gardens Drive, Clontarf
practitioner at North Lakes
should be doing it. Ask yourself: would you be okay with your Counselling Services.
husband looking backwards and tracking his ex-girlfriend? For appointments please phone
So, what can you do about it? First, I suggest that you explain 3886 2715 or 0423 653 841 Open Tuesday to Saturday
to your husband that you do now understand that this www.northlakescounsellingservices.com.au
behaviour is not okay and even though you had no ill intent 10am - 3pm
you will cease this activity immediately and he need not
worry about it again. If he is still struggling after you clarify ABOUT LEONIE 0407 760 601
your new intentions and your understanding of why he is Leonie is a qualified counsellor, Trainer and Assessor, published
upset, consider counselling. Counselling can help you both Author, Columnist, Radio Commentator and Justice of the Peace.
Established in 2007, North Lakes Counselling Services has a
formulate a new code of conduct for the marriage going long history of helping couples and individuals manage their
forward. These new agreed upon behaviours will give you a relationships and attain their personal goals.
road map going forward that you both can trust.
Til next time. CATCH LEONIE’S RADIO SHOW “ON THE
Leonie COUCH WITH LEONIE” EVERY THIRD TUESDAY
OF THE MONTH AT 11AM ON 99.7 BRIDGE FM
