Page 19 - Best Of Local Moreton Bay Magazine Nov24

CONVERSATIONS WITH
Leonie
Leonie

Hello Leonie,

I am a long-time reader and listener of yours and admire you very much. I am in my sixties and have been working in the same job
(that I hate) with the same people (not so nice – gossips) for years and I am just stagnant. It’s the same old routine over and over and
I am bored to bits. I don’t have a partner, and I don’t really want one. I get really down on Sunday nights because I know it’s just rinse
and repeat for the whole week ahead. I own my own home but I have to keep working. I wish I had made better choices regarding
my career, but I always worried about failing if I went on to higher education because I don’t handle stress well. This means that I am
stuck doing unskilled work. Any advice would be a big help.
(Name withheld by request)

Hi,

I would never try to diagnose you from afar, but I hear depression and grief talking as I read your email. Sometimes as we get older, we
do tend to look back and do a kind of assessment on our performance so far and wonder if we could have set ourselves up better for
the last half of our lives. Really, I consider this a grief and loss issue. The grief is over the lost youth and the loss of opportunities that
were not recognised at the time or passed over due to fear or uncertainty. I don’t think that there are many people who would not
change a few things in their past, both professional and personal, if they had the chance to go back and re-write history. Some people
will experience this time as a mid-life crisis where they try to recapture their lost youth in some way. Some people become perpetually
cranky and bitter, and others just accept that they did the best that they knew how to at the time and put a full stop on the reflections
and start looking ahead. Then there are other people who are pessimistic by nature, and this prevents them from enjoying the moment
and they only focus on unpleasant things they predict ahead. If you are this kind of person you may have to behave your way out of
this failure to stay in the moment in the same way that you may have behaved your way into it. The other thing that I would mention
about looking back is that we have no guarantee that if we had made those different choices, that life on that alternative road would
have been in our best interest. Even things that seem like a sure bet can go “belly up” and you don’t know what misfortune may have
been laying in wait on that alternative route. Perhaps you could watch the movie “Sliding Doors” with Gwyneth Paltrow as this film
explores this very concept. You are alive and healthy. You are employed and have paid off your own home. Sounds like a success story
to me. At the end of the day if you take learning from your mistakes out of the equation, the only thing we get from constantly looking
back is a sore neck!

Like all rinse and repeat cycles, it will keep repeating until
you deliberately interrupt it. I find that when you start to Email: leonieschilling@bigpond.com
lose your Sundays to the dread of Mondays, it can be a good
idea to shake things up a bit. One strategy is to go away Leonie is a qualified private
for the weekend and don’t return until Monday morning practitioner at North Lakes
Counselling Services.
and go straight to work from your weekend escape. Think
about it. Does it really matter if you unload the car and do For appointments please phone
the washing on a Monday afternoon instead of a Sunday 3886 2715 or 0423 653 841
afternoon? Another idea is to shake things up through www.northlakescounsellingservices.com.au
the week. No matter how tired you may convince yourself
you are, you can always find energy for something fun mid ABOUT LEONIE
week. You might consider joining a team like bowling or
going to a golf driving range or anything that you both Leonie is a qualified counsellor, Trainer and Assessor, published
enjoy doing and that is different from your normal routine, Author, Columnist, Radio Commentator and Justice of the Peace.
is fun and breaks the dreaded cycle. While we are talking Established in 2007, North Lakes Counselling Services has a
about being tired, often when we expend energy doing long history of helping couples and individuals manage their
something that we enjoy, it’s a different kind of tiredness: relationships and attain their personal goals.
it’s a tiredness that is conducive to sleep and relaxation.
CATCH LEONIE’S RADIO SHOW “ON THE
Til next month COUCH WITH LEONIE” EVERY THIRD TUESDAY
Leonie OF THE MONTH AT 11AM ON 99.7 BRIDGE FM

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